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Opening Arguments

Wild beast

Common sense from an Indiana University geologist who led a study finding that, surprise, surprise, the world has been subjected to dramatic climate change even during eras when humankind was not present to screw things up:

Posted in: Hoosier lore

But will it play in Indy?

So the kid leaves Indiana for the big city, makes a name for himself in comedy, then comes back to be the star at his high school's 50th anniversary celebration. You can guess the rest. His big joke is run by the administration, which says, "You can't say that here," and he ends up not appearing after all. This is, of course, proof that out here in the sticks we are still stuck in the 1970s, just don't get it, have paranoid, pathetic, educators, blah, blah, blah.

Posted in: Hoosier lore

The married minority

In 1930, 84 percent of U.S. households were married couples. By 1990, the percent had fallen to 56. And in the last five years, according to analysis of Census data by The New York Times, a milestone has been reached:

Posted in: Current Affairs

A failure to communicate

"Star Trek" just keeps coming true. Our cell phones are their communicators. The Internet, of course, is the real-life version of their computer that has all human knowledge. Now we're one step closer to the universal translator:

Posted in: Current Affairs

Andy goes nuclear

If you've ever heard Andy Rooney's commentaries, you know there are a lot of things he doesn't understand -- in fact, he's quite proud of that. But occasionally, the depth of his lack of understanding is astonishing:

Right now, I don't understand why we think it is OK for us to have nuclear weapons but it isn't all right for some other countries to have any.

[. . .]

Posted in: Current Affairs

Steel's boy

A not-very-flattering take on Evan Bayh, who "has yet to prove himself a real contender -- and he may not be a real centrist, either."

Massaging the rules

This is how government grows. The secret to why there is so much regulation, of everybody from real-estate agents to hairdressers and hypnotists, is that many of these groups want state regulation. It's a way to keep out the riff-raff, be able to charge dues and fees, feel professional, keep the price up. Latest example: Massage therapists are begging for state control:

Family friendly

Could it possibly be true that some of the female acquaintances of men in jail might be lacking in decorum?

Revealing tops are out and bras are now a must for women visiting prisoners at the Vanderburgh County Jail.

Jail officials imposed a new dress code policy after several incidents in which women visiting the jail exposed themselves to male prisoners.

At least one week of studying

Headline of the day: "Indiana colleges to observe responsible drinking this week." But next week, watch out! It's back to drunken debauchery.

Posted in: Hoosier lore

O'Henry comes true

Ever read O'Henry's "The Cop and the Anthem"? A bum named Soapy tries to get arrested, in order to spend Christmas well-fed in a nice, warm jail, to no avail. A kind-hearted cop keeps thwarting his efforts because of the spirit of Christmas. Soapy finally has a religiously inspired insight in front of an old church, realizing he can still make something of his life and should be doing something more than trying to spend the night in jail, whereupon he is immediately arrested for loitering.

How fair is fair enough?

OK, this is visceral, not a logical, reasoned response, so I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to put me on the jury for Simon Rios, assuming the trial even takes place in our lifetimes. How far do we have to go, exactly, to make sure a trial is fair?

Defense attorneys for Simon Rios, a suspect in the deaths of his wife and three daughters, on Friday were granted their motion for a continuance of his February trial.

A Star turn for candidates

With the election so close, I just know you're all waiting for the newspaper endorsements to help you make up your minds. (That was sarcasm, for the humor-challenged.). Here comes the Indianapolis Star's call on the Indiana congressional races.

Go in peace, Hoosiers

So, Eric Gordon Jr. has gone back on his "oral commitment" to Illinois and will play basketball for IU. This was either an agonizing decision, finally made by the young man for a number of reasons,

Posted in: Hoosier lore, Sports

Warm and fuzzy

At this post, you can find a list about what it means to be a conservative and, by clicking on the appropriate link, the list on liberalism that inspired the conservative list. Reading the list that relates to your particular phiosophy will make you feel warm and fuzzy. But beware:

Older drivers, safer roads

If things are getting too dull in the General Assembly, we can always count on state Sen Tom Wyss to propose something new to get people arguing:

"If you're talking about the age group between 16 and 20, the greatest single cause of death in that age group is auto crashes," said Indiana State Senator Tom Wyss.  "Regardless if the numbers are one or 100, it's a tremendous tragedy to lose someone at that age just because they didn't have the driving skills necessary."

Posted in: Hoosier lore

You're in a 5.8-percent minority

With the U.S. population approaching 300 million and the world's having passed 6 billion, I started wondering how many people had ever lived on Earth. I started looking around on the Web and finally found someone who addressed the question. You have to go almost to the bottom, but the answer is 106.5 billion, which makes today's 6.2 billion about 5.8 percent of the total. There are lots of qualifiers for the estimate, as we might expect:

Posted in: Current Affairs

Sigh

Azest Different people have different ways of deciding when the summer season ends. Some just go by the calendar. Some consider Labor Day the dividing line, while others mourn when the new school year starts. This has always been my emotional trigger.

Posted in: Our town

Mr. Personality

The Washington Post says the "most obvious winner" in Mark Warner dropping out of the presidential race is Indiana's Evan Bayh, since the two share "much of the same ideological territory." But:

Bayh still has a number of challenges to overcome if he hopes to ascend to the top tier of the presidential field -- most notably his perceived charisma problem . . .

Who knew? Has anyone told Richard Lugar that Bayh is the one with the charisma problem?

Just one thing after another

So there you are, just minding your own business, growing a little pot in your cornfield, videotaping an unsuspecting naked woman once in a while, just for recreation -- you're not a pervert or anything. Then along comes this busybody cop, who was off-duty and should have been minding his own business:

Posted in: Hoosier lore

The full disclosure continues

After a great deal of thought, I have also decided not to run for City Council next year. Though the landscape is littered with the names of people who are running or not running for mayor, I do believe I am the first person to declare his intentions in the council race. Perhaps this makes me worthy of some newspaper space and a little TV air time.

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