Here's my nomination for a family that needs intervention and some strong counseling:
It's not illegal for people in Indiana to have monkeys as pets, but a Hamilton County family is defending their primate. Bobbi Phelan said the patas monkey is more than a pet, he's a member of the family.
[. . .]
The animal got loose from his cage yesterday and attacked her son Skylar, who ended up with a scratch on his head and a headache.
[. . .]
The family will reinforce the locks on the monkey's cage to prevent a repeat in the future.
A beast that attacks your son and has to have stronger locks on his cage is just another "member of the family"? Someone who stays out too late drinking, OK. Someone who shirks on his chores, fine. Someone who always disagrees with you might even be tolerable.
