The Brown Revolution

We hve a national crisis on our hands, and hardly anybody is paying attention:

U.S. packaged coffee maker J.M. Smucker Co (SJM.N) on Tuesday sharply raised prices for its well-known brands including Folgers, passing along the impact of a fund-led rally in benchmark futures markets.

The increase by an average of 9 percent was the biggest widespread rise in years . . .

[. . .]

Smuckers is considered a trendsetter in coffee prices after acquiring the vast Folgers brand in November 2008, and rival roasters like Kraft (KFT.N), which owns Maxwell House and Yuban, are expected to follow suit within days.

Some will say we have an addiction to caffeine, others that coffee is the necessary fuel for the modern economy, but the truth is that our unhealthy dependence on foreign beans not only threatens to cripple our economy and harm our national security but is doing great damage to fragile ecosystems.

Fortunately, there is a clean alternative. The "black drink" is prepared from the roasted leaves and stems of the Yaupon Holly and was often used by Colonial Americans as a substitute for coffee and tea under the name "cassine" or "cassina." Because it is native to the Atlantic and Gulf Coasts, we can become caffeine independent. Because it goes back to our early history, conservatives can take pride in reinvigorating a tradition. Because it was used by Native Americans, liberals can feel connected to the Great Spirit Who Sees All and Rarely Tells. Because it is incredibly labor intensive to harvest, process and transport, we could create thousands and thousands of new jobs. Let the Brown Revolution begin!

(A final historical footnote. Prior to the 19th century, the drink was consumed at all important meeings of tribal councils. Caddo, Creeks, Cherokee, Chocktaw and others believed it purified the drinker and purged him of anger and falsehoods. "The men in council were served in order of precedence, starting with important visitors. They consumed large quantities at a sitting. Afterward, they purged themselves by vomiting." Yum!)