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Opening Arguments

Code blues

Good move:

The much-maligned, color-coded Homeland Security Advisory System is about to be consigned to the proverbial dustbin of history.

Not that anyone is really paying attention.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano is expected to announce Thursday that the almost 9-year-old threat alert system will go away in April. It will be replaced by the new National Terror Advisory System that will focus on specific threats in geographical areas, a department source said Wednesday.

The source did not provide details of the new system, which Napolitano will unveil at what the department is calling "the first annual 'State of America's Homeland Security' address" at George Washington University.

We usually don't know whatever color of threat level we're at, and it's not exactly clear exactly what actions we're supposed to take at each color. It's kind of a muddled mess, which is why the system is so frequently parodied, as in:

A "Total Headcase Advisory System" began with "George Soros is arrested" and ended with "Hillary Clinton is elected president." Still another announced that Homeland Security and Crayola had jointly revised the system, changing green to aquamarine, blue to raw umber, yellow to burnt sienna, orange to neon carrot and red to cotton candy.

I'm also not sure how wise it is to have five levels of threat -- that's at least three more than most of us can deal with. We like things easy, such as the two levels of threat for our office buildings. It's either All Clear, so we may remain sleeping at our desks, or AWWWK, AWWWK, AWWWWK, Get Out Now!

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