Garage-sale fiends

We may already be at the point where so many things are illegal that you will unwittingly become a criminal several times over every time you set foot outside your house. Oh, wait! Now they can get you there, too:

If you're planning a garage sale or organizing a church bazaar, you'd best beware: You could be breaking a new federal law. As part of a campaign called Resale Roundup, the federal government is cracking down on the secondhand sales of dangerous and defective products.

The initiative, which targets toys and other products for children, enforces a new provision that makes it a crime to resell anything that's been recalled by its manufacturer.

"Those who resell recalled children's products are not only breaking the law, they are putting children's lives at risk," said Inez Tenenbaum, the recently confirmed chairwoman of the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

You stinking, rotten child's-life-risker, you. When they nab you, I hope they also check out your bathrooms. I'd be willing to bet that you're also a low-flush-toilet scofflaw.