I don't think the "keep Christ in the closet where he belongs" folks need any help in their efforts to ruin Christmas, but it looks like they're getting it anyway:
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus. And he's a public health menace.
Public health expert Nathan Grills of Monash University in Australia says the beloved Christmas icon should ditch his sleigh and start biking or walking to lose his jelly belly.
Grills' light-hearted research was published online Thursday in the annual Christmas issue of the British medical journal BMJ.
After conducting a literature review, Grills identified a "very high Santa awareness" among children. He determined that Santa made a reckless role model, noting his frequent cookie snacks, occasional cigars and refusal to don a helmet during "extreme sports such as roof surfing and chimney jumping."
He also makes his elves work in sweatshop conditions, cruelly makes his reindeer do work that PETA wouldn't approve of and violates the laws of numerous countries by crossing their boarders illegally. The guy's a regular menace.