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Opening Arguments

Snort

Criminal geniuses of the week:

A gang of teenage thieves looking to get high got a buzzkill instead when they realized a stash of "cocaine" they'd heisted and snorted was not the drug, but a dead man's ashes.

The thieves, who burgled a woman's Florida house in December, stole - among other items - an urn containing the resident's father's remains, as well as a container where the ashes of her two deceased dogs were stored, according to a sheriff's report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Eeuuww. Who do these guys think they are anyway, Keith Richards?

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