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Opening Arguments

True grits

Mitt Romney is trying to turn into a Southerner for the upcoming Albama and Mississippi primaries, "learning to say 'y'all' and 'I like grits.' " But he's struggling a tad:

He greeted voters in Jackson, Miss., last week with a hearty "Morning, y'all!" and said he started the day with "a biscuit and some cheesy grits."

 

While Southerners sometimes add cheese to grits, they generally go with just salt, pepper and butter.

Newt Gingrich can't resist the food fight:

But Newt Gingrich fired back by throwing some hominy cereal of his own, saying Saturday that, "as a Georgian, I understand grits. I understand cheese grits. I even understand shrimp and grits."

Jeez. The only thing to eat with grits, besides salt, pepper and, if you're feeling a little adventurous, just a hint of Old Bay, is butter, enough to turn the stuff banana yellow. And if it's not thick enough to eat with a fork instead of a spoon, you made it wrong.

I hope they have their faux good-old-boy routines down by the the time they get to Indiana. I want to hear how they bowl, what they like on their breaded tenderloins, where they park their pickups and their double wides and how many times they've beren to their favorite WalMart. Don't embarrass yourselves, y'all you guys.

Comments

gadfly
Mon, 03/12/2012 - 5:41pm

Perhaps Mitt and Newt could join Jim Nabors in a chorus of "Back Home Again In Indiana."  Since Douglas Adams has already defined the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything to be "42" - our candidates get to tjhe bottom of the age-old Indiana puzzle, "Hoosier daddy?

 
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