With only a day to spare, we finally have our Hoosier Teenager of the Year!
MUNCIE -- Police arrested a teenager as he was apparently preparing to urinate on a southside church early Tuesday.
Matthew Lane Stockton, 18, 3418 S. Juniper Lane, faces charges of public indecency and public intoxication, both misdemeanors.
[. . .]
When Officer Seth Stanley arrived, he reported seeing Stockton "with his hands in front of himself holding his genitalia outside of his pants."
Stanley asked Stockton why he was urinating on the side of the church and Stockton allegedly said that he had not urinated but was getting ready to.
According to Stanley, Stockton smelled of alcohol, although he denied being drunk.
I think we've all been in a position at least once in our lives when we're in the middle of a loooong car trip and feel the need to go so badly that we promise to God to never leave the house everagain if he'll let us just get through this OK. And guys who get into this situation naturally can think, well, if I just pull off somewhere, anywhere dark and even semi-remote, I can get this over with in a hurry and be on my way. But on the side of a church? Never in our most depraved imaginings.
In case you think this kid isn't worthy of the yearly award, consider that he already had a case pending from October for driving while intoxicated, driving while suspended and illegal consumption of alcohol. He's a even a good bet to make a reappearance on next year's list.
Comments
Leo:
In OUR neighborhood, public urination seems to be a cultual "thang'...no long car trips around HERE...that's for sure.
People pull up to a YIELD sign, open the car door and "let loose the Rains of Ranchipur".
Or they might be hanging out at someone's house, and nature calls them to use the side of the garage, rather than take 20 steps IN to the house to use the flush toilet that has been around since 26th century B.C.!
Maybe this teen has some competition for NEXT year's "award", such as it might be.
'Ya never know.
I thought you libertarians refused to grant special status to religion. Why is it more offensive to relieve oneself on a church than on, say, a convenience store?
I also wonder if the cop would have actually arrested the guy if it hadn't been a church. Cops must see this sort of thing all the time. When I worked the night shift, I saw cops relieving themselves in alleys, etc. Who cares?
I hope this guy pleads innocent and puts the cop on the stand and asks him if he, the cop, has ever made wee-wee outdoors.
Littlejohn, have you run out of medication of some type? It would appear as though (in recent posts) you have become oblivious as to the point of the articles being posted.
Do you have time to look up the word "facetious"?
Tim, I am always open to correction of my many errors.
The title of the posting is "A Funny Way to Pray." I thought, given the headline, the point of the posting was that the fellow was peeing on a church, not that he was merely peeing.
I gather from your use of the word "facetious" that Leo was making one of his jokes, and, as so often happens, it simply went over my head. I lack your insight into these things, and I rely on you to set me straight. As always, thank you.