The married minority

In 1930, 84 percent of U.S. households were married couples. By 1990, the percent had fallen to 56. And in the last five years, according to analysis of Census data by The New York Times, a milestone has been reached:

The American Community Survey, released this month by the Census Bureau, found that 49.7 percent, or 55.2 million, of the nation's 111.1 million households in 2005 were made up of married couples — with and without children — just shy of a majority and down from more than 52 percent five years earlier.

Those numbers mean a little bit less than they appear to. In the very next paragraph, the Times acknowledges: "The numbers by no means suggests marriage is dead or necessarily that a tipping point has been reached. The total number of married couples is higher than ever, and most Americans eventually marry." This is just one snapshot in time, not taking into account, for example, the fact that people tend to marry later than they used to and the increase in the number of elderly widows. And if you look at the numbers for unmarried couples, they aren't that huge, even though the percentage has been rising dramatically: unmarried opposite-sex parnters -- about 5  percent of households; unmarried same-sex parnters -- less than 1 percent. (I am a member of one of the other minorities -- people living alone, about 1 in 20 households).

So the world of "Ozzie and Harriet" isn't really disappearing, as some of the stories and headlines about this have proclaimed. It's just undergoing a little bit of stress. Since marriage has always been the way we've done most of our property accounting and transfer, and since it's still the best way to raise children, it would seem a good idea to look at those stresses instead of writing the institution off. One of the experts in the piece says “we have an anachronistic view as to what extent you can use marriage to organize the distribution and redistribution of benefits.” Anachronistic? You have a better way?

I found this an interesting observation:

Steve Watters, the director of young adults for Focus on the Family, a conservative Christian group, said that the trend of fewer married couples was more a reflection of delaying marriage than rejection of it.

“It does show that a lot of people are experimenting with alternatives before they get there,” Mr. Watters said. “The biggest concern is that those who still aspire to marriage are going to find fewer models. They're also finding they've gotten so good at being single it's hard to be at one with another person.”

Sort of like the Amish, who send their teens out into the wicked world for a time, knowing that the great majority of them will come back and be good and faithful members of the flock. And I can really relate to the "gotten so good at being single" part. After I got divorced, I thought it more rather than less likely I would remarry. But the more I have set my own schedule and indulged my own whims, the less compelled I am to try to fit my habits into somebody else's schedule and needs. Come to think of it, that may have been one of the big problems in my marriage.

Oh, no! Does that mean I am among those destroying the institution of marriage?