Why I don't have a tattoo

I'm not sure, but this may be un-American:

Five tattooed skulls stretch from Marine Cpl. Jeremy Slaton's right elbow to his wrist, spelling out the word "Death." He planned to add a tattoo spelling "Life" on his left arm, but that's on hold because of a Marine policy taking effect Sunday.

The Marines are banning any new, extra-large tattoos below the elbow or the knee, saying such body art is harmful to the Corps' spit-and-polish image.

Slaton and other grunts are not pleased.

"I guess I'll get the other half later," grumbled the 24-year-old leatherneck from Eden Prairie, Minn. "It's kind of messed up."

When I was in the Army, I was occasionally drunk. I was occasionally near a tattoo parlor. I was never simultaneously drunk and near a tattoo parlor, one of the happy accidents of my life.