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Opening Arguments

12 days of agony

I mentioned in an earlier post that "The 12 Days of Christmas" was on my list of the five worst Christmas songs ever. One of the good reasons to detest the song is that it is responsible for one of the laziest, lamest piceces of journalistic sludge ever perpetuated against the American people. Once a year, some outfit calculates what all the gifts mentioned in the song would cost at today's prices, and newspapers dutitfully relay it as if it's the most astonishing news of the year. This year, the breathless report noted that the gifts' cost are up 6 percent. Look, nobody buys anybody six geese-a-laying or 12 drummers-drumming or a stinking partridge in a lousy pear tree, ever, so nobody cares what they cost, so KNOCK IT OFF. It's embarrassing.

Oh, and just in case you thought nothing could be worse than that song, check out this Indianapolis Star Hoosier version.