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Opening Arguments

Up against the wall, sinner!

A chaplain who wants to be a cop, gets a take-home police car and likes to take it out of town with the lights and siren going. Too bad "Monty Python" isn't still in production -- this would make a perfect piece for them:

Warren, a lifelong friend of the mayor, is scheduled to attend a 60-hour training session for auxiliary officers. If he passes the course, he would have authority to make arrests within city limits.

Oh, a lifelong friend of the mayor -- that sort of explains things. If you got busted by this guy, he could read you your rights but tell you it's OK, God still loves you.

Posted in: Hoosier lore

Comments

Steve Towsley
Wed, 07/26/2006 - 9:55pm

If it were possible to get arrest powers in Fort Wayne by passing a 60-hour course, you'd have as many deputies as driver licenses, and every time two drivers started calling each other names, you'd have one or both trying to arrest the other. You might get an awful lot of hot pursuits, in fact.

Parents could jail their kids for drugs; wives could arrest husbands for domestic abuse, property owners might arrest trespassers... That's entertainment.

Bob G.
Thu, 07/27/2006 - 4:45am

Man...if I had arrest powers, I could clean up just my area in about 2 weeks...then those of us that still play by the rules could get a night's sleep for a change.
Yeah...nice dream...but my dad always said the BEST part about dreams is how much they cost. And that price is right!

B.G.

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