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Opening Arguments

A bite out of crime

A "self-proclaimed vampire leader" (can there be any other kind?), despite claiming to follow vampire law and therefore being "exempt from traditional laws," has been sentenced to more than two years in jail for threatening to impale and dismember a judge and decapitate the judge and his wife and children. (Couldn't he have just threatened to bite them all?) The Channel 13 story has all the juicy details (such as the fact theat "there are a group of individuals that believe they're vampires here in the United States and he is their leader." But The Associated Press has this amusing story closer:

A call to a phone number listed on the group's blog got a recording saying the call could not go through.

The Associated Press called Flash's public defender for comment after hours, but the office was closed and didn't have an answering machine.

Just like we were taught in journalism school. If you don't at least try to contact the vampire or his lawyer, you aren't being fair.


Bob G.
Thu, 12/17/2009 - 12:22pm

Be nice to sic those vampires on all those gang-bangers...
That would be a good use of our new ball field in the "off-season"...
Move over UFC...we got the REAL DEAL.
BTW, I prefer my steaks well done...no bleeding, thank you.

Fri, 12/18/2009 - 8:59pm

Are they nuts? No jail can hold this guy. He's a vampire, for cryin' out loud. He said so.