• Twitter
  • Facebook
News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.
Opening Arguments

The cheating life

A lot of people are going to make fun of this, but a great many will actually say it's a good thing:

In a ruling sure to make philandering spouses squirm, Michigan's second-highest court says that anyone involved in an extramarital fling can be prosecuted for first-degree criminal sexual conduct, a felony punishable by up to life in prison.

"We cannot help but question whether the Legislature actually intended the result we reach here today," Judge William Murphy wrote in November for a unanimous Court of Appeals panel, "but we are curtailed by the language of the statute from reaching any other conclusion."

There is one problem with the ruling that might not be readily apparent. Gay people can't get married, therefore they can't be guilty of adultery, so this law applies unequally. Just another case of keeping the straight man down.


Bob G.
Tue, 01/16/2007 - 7:29am

...And the married man at home...LOL!


Greg C
Tue, 01/16/2007 - 8:44am

If you are married, you can be guilty of adultery, and instead of life in a cage, they should be put to death.

Homosexuals are guilty of homosexuality, where they should be put to death.

Leo Morris
Tue, 01/16/2007 - 8:59am

Wow. If you put adulterers and homosexuals to death, what do you have left for the Saddam Husseins?

brian stouder
Tue, 01/16/2007 - 11:36am

what do you have left for the Saddam Husseins?

inescapable retirement community in downtown Deluth...?

Leo Morris
Tue, 01/16/2007 - 12:02pm

Bat boy at Harrison Square?

brian stouder
Tue, 01/16/2007 - 12:41pm

lifetime designated complaint department whipping boy at the BMV's busiest license branch?

tim zank
Tue, 01/16/2007 - 2:35pm

David Roachs campaign manager?

Tue, 01/16/2007 - 4:34pm


Dang it Leo,

I was sipping perfection in the way of a Grey Goose Martini with Jalapeno stuffed olives and now it's come out my nose and gone all over my keyboard!

I'm just glad I didn't have a jalapeno in my mouth.

Steve Towsley
Wed, 01/17/2007 - 12:19am

Hey, be grateful they haven't re-affirmed the right to shoot the unfaithful on the spot in cold blood.

At least that kind of reaction still has to pass the "heat of the moment" test.

Steve Towsley
Wed, 01/17/2007 - 12:59am

By the way, I think this sort of attempt at legal definition is going to become more common as marriage is viewed more and more as a civil contract.

We know how Americans feel about breach of contract these days. It should therefore be no big surprise that legislatures and courts will probably be asked to define consequences for breach of the law in an area where people often have so much ill will.

Look up monogamy in as many dictionaries as you like; ask any number of attorneys for a reasonable argument to explain away infidelity under a contract which lionizes monogamy in the hot-button age of AIDS... Let me know how the wind is blowing for you.

Bob G.
Wed, 01/17/2007 - 6:44am

Interesting point, Steve...

Marriage as a CIVIL contract (in the future)....never thought of it in THAT context....kind of makes it sound like some sewer repair flying through city council...

Sanctity be gone!