Welcome to the bar, where you may feel free to kill yourself with alcohol, either the slow way, by sinking slowly into beer- and whisky-induced organ shutdown and/or suicidal depression, or the fast way, by turning your car into a killing machine also likely to take out any number of innocent bystanders.
We are sorry to inform you that you may no longer end it all by smoking in the bar. A whiff of the smoke you are using as your ticket out of this plane of existence might drift out of the bar, travel two blocks and assault the lungs of a 10-year-old girl walking her grandmother to church, striking her dead instantly and making the cancer-cluster numbers of the ZIP code go so high that no decent person would ever want to live there.
But do not despair. We would NEVER leave you only one way to ruin your life in the bar:
MUNCIE -- During last year's gaming spree at the Indiana General Assembly, bars and restaurants were left out.
That's why Rep. Dennis Tyler, D-Muncie, is authoring a bill that would make pull tabs, punch boards and tip boards legal for establishments licensed to sell alcohol.
[. . .]
"We are not reinventing the wheel," Tyler said, noting that pull tabs, Super Bowl and NASCAR boards and other paper gaming has been in bars for years. "All bar owners want is a fair shake."
Funny old world.