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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.
Opening Arguments


Rush on down to Crazy Uncle Sam's Car Lot, where the rides are always fine, and the deals are always hot! No money for a down payment? No problem? Trouble getting financing? Not here, friend! We offer six months' same as cash, we'll eat the first three payments, and the first 500 customers will get free car washes for a year! How can Uncle Sam do that, you ask? Because he's craaaaaazy! And if you don't take advantage of these sweet deals, you're even craaaazier!!

"If you buy a car from Chrysler or General Motors, you will be able to get your car serviced and repaired, just like always," the president promised yesterday morning from the executive mansion.

And that's not all, folks! "Your warranty will be safe," the salesman in chief went on. "In fact, it will be safer than it's ever been, because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warranty."

[. . .]

 The president had promised car buyers everything but rich Corinthian leather seats -- and reporters leaving the Grand Foyer got in the spirit of the day. "Zero money down!" proposed one. "Will he throw in a few oil changes?" wondered another.

NBC's Chuck Todd, during White House press secretary Robert Gibbs's afternoon briefing, observed that "the president stood up there almost like an advertisement."

Gibbs responded by supplementing the president's pitch. "No person that goes out today to buy a Jeep -- which I love to drive, I used to have a Jeep -- if somebody wants to go buy a Jeep, they should not hesitate to do so, because that warranty will be insured. . . . If somebody wants to go buy, as the president said, the Motor Trend Car of the Year, they can go do that."

If they start bringing in circus elephants and pushing used cars -- but, nah, that would be silly.


Bob G.
Tue, 03/31/2009 - 1:02pm

It DOES make me wonder when I see people that DO NOT WORK suddenly get not ONE, but TWO Dodge Durangos...
Oh, wait, maybe it's all that DRUG MONEY (that never gets taxed) that's paying for them?

Yeah...that's GOT to be it.
Change I can believe in...free vehicles to every Komrade!

"Have a trade in? Not to worry...push it, pull it, MAMBO it in for a new, "free" vehicle, courtesy of the U.S. government!


tim zank
Tue, 03/31/2009 - 2:57pm

While I don't have the time right now to provide the link of where I posted it on this blog not long ago, this is merely the first of many bittersweet "I told you so's" I'll be providing for some time.

No way Der Leader was gonna pass up a chance like this.

Michael B-P
Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:48pm

Well, now wait a minute! We've got to keep setting a good free market example for the unshackled ex-commie throngs working at Russian car companies, don't we?