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Opening Arguments

Crazy love

Even in today's "everybody wants to be famous just for being famous" culture, it's not sufficient to say White House crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi are reality-show wannabes desperate to get on TV. There has to be something else going on, and all you have to do is look at their photo to know what it is. He is this loser-looking schmo who wakes up every morning and says to himself, "I just cannot believe I'm married to somebody this hot" and so he does absolutely anything and everything she wants to do, and the only problem with that is that she is craaaaazzy. Anyway, that's my theory, and anyone is allowed to have a theory about silly stories that we let fill up the empty slots on our amusement cards.

Oh, this just in: It was all a mistake, honest. They were really invited and can prove it, and they are just devastated by the whole thing. True story available for the best middle-six-figure offer.

And I wish all the news stories would quit repeating that the "president was never in any danger." That's not the point. The point is that truly dangerous people might someday use the same techniques these nut jobs did to get into the White House.


Bob G.
Tue, 12/01/2009 - 12:57pm

It could have been worse...
They could have told the media that their son was in a home made balloon overflying the WHITE HOUSE when they entered...
Stupid IS...as stupid DOES.
Any head-of-state is in danger...it's the nature of the beast, and goes with the territory.

Tue, 12/01/2009 - 2:42pm

Leo, I'm sorry but you have weird taste. That woman looks like she sleeps with her head in a pan of Clorox. Also, call me crazy (you're crazy!) but I sort of like women to have, you know, breasts.
But if you go for the albino teenage boy look, who am I to criticize?

tim zank
Tue, 12/01/2009 - 3:02pm

Yeah, turns out these two morons are harmless but that doesn't mean the next yo-yo that gets in will be.
Great movie for reference is "In The Line Of Fire" with Clint Eastwood and John Malkovich....

Not that far fetched at all. In the movie Malkovich got in to the Presidents dinner with an unassembled plastic 2 shot pistol and 2 bullets hidden in his rabbits foot keychain. He assembled and loaded under the table during the beginning of the meal.

These mooks are pretty humorous, but that's a mighty scary lapse in security there at White House High.

Larry Morris
Tue, 12/01/2009 - 4:00pm

Yep, if you notice they did actually shake hands with the president. Unless I'm mistaken there are really fast acting poisons that can be absorbed through the skin, ... but not in any danger. Right,

Leo Morris
Tue, 12/01/2009 - 4:38pm

I did not say that I think she's hot, only that he would. That's the type of scary looking (and I mean that) pretend blonde that loser-looking schmoes always seem to go for.

Tue, 12/01/2009 - 5:54pm

Larry: I guess you're suggesting the bad guys could poison the president with bad stuff that can be absorbed through the skin of his hand.
Before shaking hands, the bad guy would have to cover his own palm with poison that can be absorbed through the skin, and then....oops. I think I see a flaw in this plan.
I seem to recall a movie in which poison lipstick was used, but the bad gal protected her lips with an undercoat of impervious stuff first. Wow, this really gets complicated. Why wouldn't they just grab a wine bottle and hit him over the head or something? Note to Secret Service: I'm not actually recommending anyone hit our president over the head. With anything. Really.

Larry Morris
Tue, 12/01/2009 - 6:40pm

Or perhaps just grab a knife from one of the place-settings on any table - not that I have that in mind either.