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Opening Arguments

Death be not endless

Forgive me if this sounds insensitive, but I've reached the saturation point for "remembering Tim Russert" gushiness. They announced on "Meet the Press" yesterday that the end of the program would feature yet another Russert tribute, and I shouted at the TV, "No more! Please stop! He was a great guy and he will be missed, I get it, now let's move on!" When that end segment arrived, Brian what's-his-name (he's not dead yet, so I don't have to care) introduced it by saying, "There was a final tribute for our friend Tim Russert yesterday," and I'm afraid I shouted again. "FINAL? Apparently not! Do you even know the MEANING of the word?!" My sister, sitting across the room, peered at me as if I'd finally lost it and, wisely, said nothing.

Oh, well. I hope we don't go that overboard on George Carlin. For one thing, he would have hated it, or at least found it highly amusing. I'm gone, retards -- get over it. Everyone will be talking about his famous "seven dirty words," and they deserve all the attention. But over here, let's consider the great man's words on death as a fitting tribute to him:



Posted in: Current Affairs


Bob G.
Mon, 06/23/2008 - 11:52am

Well said...every second of it.
(and too damn true)



Mon, 06/23/2008 - 7:48pm

I'm glad he got a lot of coverage today - I was a big fan; but I wasn't terribly happy with the focus on the seven dirty words. I realize the cultural impact was significant, but it was far from his best bit, imho.

I don't know that it's his best, but one that leaps immediately to my mind is his "Religion is Bullshit" bit:

"Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! . . . But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money!"

Mon, 06/23/2008 - 9:45pm

George Carlin was funny, but his comedy bits often contained wisdom that appealed to reason. My George Carlin favorite is called "The Planet is Fine."

"Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are f*cked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles ...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages ...and we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet ...the planet ...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!

We're going away. Pack your sh*t, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic ...asshole."