• Twitter
  • Facebook
News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.
Opening Arguments

A dog's life

Dog with a bandage on its leg walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asks. "No." A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg."I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly. "That's not my dog."

Guy walks into a bar with his dog, asks if he can get a free drink if his dog can talk. "Sure," the bartender says. The guy turns to his dog. ''OK, fella. Tell me -- what is on top of a house?'' Roof. The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!'' Guy asks his dog another question. ''OK, boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?'' Ruff! ''What are you tryin' to pull, mister?'' ''OK," says the man. "One more question, please. OK, buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ballplayer who ever lived?'' Ruth. "That's it," says the bartender and throws them both out. The dog picks himself up from the sidewwalk and looks at the guy. "Geez. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio."

Just jokes, sure, but they might become possible in Washington state:

OLYMPIA, Wash. - If dog-loving lawmakers prevail, Fido could soon be sidling up to bar stools around Washington state.

Soggy dogs waiting outside a downtown Olympia pub inspired state Sen. Ken Jacobsen to propose a way to get them in from the cold and rain.

"There's all sorts of places you can bring animals now," said Jacobsen, who doesn't own a dog. "You can take dogs into hotels. My God, some people are carrying dogs in their purses. Why can't we have them in the bars?"

The Seattle Democrat's bill would allow bars and restaurants with liquor licenses to welcome dogs, as long as they accompany their owners and remain well-behaved and leashed. Establishments wouldn't be required to allow dogs, except for service animals.

I'd kind of like to see a similar law here. If cats can be library mascots and people can bring their children to work, why not dogs in bars? As long as they don't smoke, of course.

There are two places I remember where the owners had their dogs -- a used bookstore in Hazard, Ky., and a tobacco store on the northwest side of Indianapolis. People would come in, start looking around, then spot the dog and visit a while. The  one in Indianapolis is a fat, old bulldog who never moves. I wonder how many return visits -- and sales -- they get just from people who want to see the dogs? Cool.

Posted in: Current Affairs


Bob G.
Fri, 01/26/2007 - 5:53am

I remember an old hardware store in Philly....the two WOMEN (that's right...women) that ran it had an ancient hound dog that slept by the radiator all the time...helluva watch dog! But they were never robbed!

And my mechanic had his obligatory German Shepard in the garage 24/7. That dog was dirtier than the underside of his tow truck, but friendlier as the day was long (if you were a regular customer)...otherwise he sat and growled at you the whole time...heh, heh...

( so much for writing a bad check there)

I like the idea...it needs revisiting.


Larry Morris
Fri, 01/26/2007 - 6:29am

How 'bout a twist the other way ? Our local small town bank keeps dog biscuits in the drive-up teller area. Everyone knows to bring their dogs to the drive-up with them and they'll get a treat back with the receipt. The dogs know too, friends who have a dog say theirs seems to know when they're headed to the bank, ...

tim zank
Fri, 01/26/2007 - 6:53am

While allowing dogs in bars is a great idea, I don't think you'd ever get it past City Council here. The dangers of "second hand dander", while not yet proven, represent enough of a health hazard we could never subject the unknowing public to it's exposure.

What were you thinking man!!!

Fri, 01/26/2007 - 8:07am

They should allow dogs in bars. After June 1, the bars will need the business. I think "Smoke Free Allen County" did a survey that found 3 out of 4 dogs would visit Fort Wayne bars more often if they were smoke free, and if they knew how to open doors.

Leo Morris
Fri, 01/26/2007 - 8:17am

And if we put music they like in jukeboxes, they probably wouldn't mind being taught how to put quarters in the slots. I suspect most dogs, being discerning creatures, like bluegrass and early rock.

brian stouder
Fri, 01/26/2007 - 9:18am

Pearl Jam, baby!

Steve Towsley
Fri, 01/26/2007 - 10:07pm

I'd be willing to work more places if they embraced a policy of welcoming my Shar-Pei to lay around my office.

I like my dog better than most people. Not that most people are so terrible; my dog is just that good a girl.