Dog with a bandage on its leg walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asks. "No." A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg."I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly. "That's not my dog."
Guy walks into a bar with his dog, asks if he can get a free drink if his dog can talk. "Sure," the bartender says. The guy turns to his dog. ''OK, fella. Tell me -- what is on top of a house?'' Roof. The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!'' Guy asks his dog another question. ''OK, boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?'' Ruff! ''What are you tryin' to pull, mister?'' ''OK," says the man. "One more question, please. OK, buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ballplayer who ever lived?'' Ruth. "That's it," says the bartender and throws them both out. The dog picks himself up from the sidewwalk and looks at the guy. "Geez. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio."
Just jokes, sure, but they might become possible in Washington state:
OLYMPIA, Wash. - If dog-loving lawmakers prevail, Fido could soon be sidling up to bar stools around Washington state.
Soggy dogs waiting outside a downtown Olympia pub inspired state Sen. Ken Jacobsen to propose a way to get them in from the cold and rain.
"There's all sorts of places you can bring animals now," said Jacobsen, who doesn't own a dog. "You can take dogs into hotels. My God, some people are carrying dogs in their purses. Why can't we have them in the bars?"
The Seattle Democrat's bill would allow bars and restaurants with liquor licenses to welcome dogs, as long as they accompany their owners and remain well-behaved and leashed. Establishments wouldn't be required to allow dogs, except for service animals.
I'd kind of like to see a similar law here. If cats can be library mascots and people can bring their children to work, why not dogs in bars? As long as they don't smoke, of course.
There are two places I remember where the owners had their dogs -- a used bookstore in Hazard, Ky., and a tobacco store on the northwest side of Indianapolis. People would come in, start looking around, then spot the dog and visit a while. The one in Indianapolis is a fat, old bulldog who never moves. I wonder how many return visits -- and sales -- they get just from people who want to see the dogs? Cool.