Don't you hate reviewers who won't just come out and say what they mean?
Well, it had to happen. Madonna has been a terrible actor in many, many films and now - fiercely aspirational as ever - she has graduated to being a terrible director. She has made a movie so incredibly bad that Berlin festivalgoers were staggering around yesterday in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens.
She also wrote the script, which is "a nightmare of crass and fatuous stereotypes: south Asians, Jews, gays - no one escapes her lack of insight or common sense." I don't know -- it sounds like one of those "so awful it's actually good" experiences.
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There is something deeply repellent about this woman. Everything she touches in terms of the cinema turns to shite--and even her husband, Guy Ritchie, has accomplished nothing worthwhile since they came together like two colliding supertankers in the night. I dearly hope critics eviscerate the film (looks like that's a safe bet) and audiences stay away in droves. Then she can go back to performing her bedroom antics onstage, looking increasingly old, fat and ridiculous. Couldn't happen to a more rotten human being...