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Opening Arguments

An example of adult humor

Yes, dear, I am intoxicated by that strong perfume. No, dear, that tight red dress and the fish-net stockings don't make you look tacky. I love the nine-inch heels. Oh, absolutely, the liberal use of hair spray only adds to your charm, and I am utterly fascinated by your grasp of the English language. No, of course not, I don't think $100 is too much. -- patronizing a prostitute

Perhaps I should send that to Patrick Knight:

LIVINGSTON, Texas — Condemned prisoner Patrick Knight wants to leave them laughing.

Knight acknowledges there's nothing funny about his likely execution later this month for the fatal shooting of his neighbors, Walter and Mary Werner, almost 16 years ago outside Amarillo. But to help him come up with his final statement, Knight is accepting jokes mailed to him on Texas' death row or e-mailed to a friend who has a Web site for him. The friend then mails him the jokes.

Knight said the joke he finds the funniest will be his final statement the evening of June 26.

Be careful not to e-mail this post to anyone from work.