A fair redo

At one point in the American Revolution, things looked pretty grim for our side, and there were many people who probably decided that we had done the wrong thing. It's too bad we didn't have somebody like Nancty Pelosi and her compatriots to revisit the resolution that got us into the mess and do a little makeover:

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another ask its rulers to be more reasonable and to assume among the powers of the earth , plead to be taken more seriously, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect reasonable compromise to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.carefully explain the reasons they are unhappy so there is no possiblity of misunderstanding.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, are fairly certain that all men are created equal should be treated fairly, unless there is a good reason not to do so that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, and if that fairness doesn't seem to be present, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness, there should be immediate negotiations among all the stakeholders to ensure that the interests of all are given their fair consideration.