A good, clean phite

If you outlaw phosphates, only outlaws will have phosphates:

The quest for squeaky-clean dishes has turned some law-abiding people in Spokane into dishwater-detergent smugglers. They are bringing Cascade or Electrasol in from out of state because the eco-friendly varieties required under Washington state law don't work as well. Spokane County became the launch pad last July for the nation's strictest ban on dishwasher detergent made with phosphates, a measure aimed at reducing water pollution. The ban will be expanded statewide in July 2010, the same time similar laws take effect in several other states.

There are probably more people who want squeaky clean dishes than people who want a good stiff drink, so the refusal of Spokane residents to meekly accept this latest Prohibition is no surprise. Me, I'm hoarding incandescent light bulbs of varying wattages. When the ban kicks in, I'll spread the word on when my van will be at what intersections. You won't like my prices, but where else you gonna go? And don't think you can muscle in on my territory, either. I have, um, contingency plans ... and friends with scars and funny accents.