Come on, people, you can keep screwing up just like you always have, but leave the dogs out of it, OK? First, from Indianapolis, comes the story of an attack with a deadly weapon:
For the first time, prosecutors in Marion County are considering filing charges of assault with a deadly weapon - and the deadly weapon is a dog.
"I was robbed. I was jumped and bit by a dog," said Terri Henry, who was attacked Monday in the 3100 block of West Michigan.
[. . .]
That's when Henry says her ex-roommate Andrew Townsend and his girlfriend Carley Woodward pulled up in a truck, jumped out and started attacking her, and not just with their fists. They brought out a pit bull.
"He was telling the dog, 'get her, get her,'" said Henry. "At first the dog scratched me on my lower back. And then he bit me."
And from Bloomington, we have the tale of the flying chihuahua:
Police in Bloomington are searching for man who reportedly hit his ex-girlfriend in the head with her chihuahua. The 22 year-old woman told police the man first hit her several times with his cell phone, then threw the three lb. dog across the room at her.
The dog hit the woman in the head, then slammed into a wall and slid to the floor. The dog was not seriously hurt.
If we ever have a dispute at my house, I can pretty much gurantee no domestic animals will be involved. If my cats move at all, it will be to get a better view. I might be forced to go up on the roof and throw my raccoon at you, though.