What Michael Phelps should have said -- I take my apology back because, guess what, it's none of your business:
I work my ass off 10 months a year. It's that hard work that gave you all those gooey feelings of patriotism last summer. If during my brief window of down time I want to relax, enjoy myself, and partake of a substance that's a hell of a lot less bad for me than alcohol, tobacco, or, frankly, most of the prescription drugs most of you are taking, well, you can spare me the lecture.
[. . .]
You don't give a damn about my health. You just get a voyeuristic thrill from watching an elite athlete fall from grace