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Opening Arguments

Hold up there, Fat Lady

Maybe we shouldn't be too quick to write off John McCain:

WASHINGTON, DC - In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain.

With major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker the Alien has changed his endorsement amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years.


Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.

Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband's failing campaign, Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement.

And Francis Fukuyama, meanwhile, is endorsing Barack Obama:

At a time when the U.S. government has just nationalized a good part of the banking sector, we need to rethink a lot of the Reaganite verities of the past generation regarding taxes and regulation. Important as they were back in the 1980s and '90s, they just won't cut it for the period we are now entering. Obama is much better positioned to reinvent the American model . . .

Obama is the answer for the nationalization of a good part of the banking sector? Fukuyama is the professor who said, with the collapse of Communism, that we had reached "The End of History," so perhaps we should respect his wise judgment.