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Opening Arguments

Late again!

Pay attention, slackers. A survey says 30 percent of your are late for work at least once a week, and 12 percent at least twice a week. You mostly blame traffic (33 percent), lack of sleep (24 percent) or having to deal with the kids (10 percent). But some excuses are just brilliant, such as "My heat was off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm" and "a groundhog bit my bike tire." My personal favorite, though:

My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.

Happens to me all the time. I swear.

Posted in: Current Affairs