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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.
Opening Arguments

Lemon aid

I understand what Gov. Daniels was trying to say about the government meddling in the automobile business. Stupid regulations are already part of the problem with American auto companies trying to compete in the marketplace, and it's a little frightening to think of all the new mischief Congress might come up with. But I think he went a little too far:

" I find it really inappropriate for members of Congress telling these people how to run their business. I mean some of these members of Congress, you wouldn't hire to run a lemonade stand, and yet they're going to say who ought to be in this job, who ought to be in that job."

It could actually be quite interesting if the government ran the lemonade stands. Just think of all the people who would be employed. There couldn't be just one blend of lemonade, for example; stands would be required to carry various strengths of drink at varying levels of sweetness, depending on the prevailing local tastes. There would have to be every kind of artificial sweetner for those whose diet needs don't permit sugar. Some people might not toelrate tap water, so bottled water would have to be used for their drinks. The children could work only so many hours, and they'd have to have adults take over the stands after that, so that would require paperwork for their Social Security benefits. Someone would have to check to make sure the Hispanic-looking ones are really citizens, so Homeland Security would have to be involved.

I could go on and on, but you get the point. A glass of lemonade would cost approximately $237.52, and anybody trying to take advantage of the situation by going rogue and selling it for a quarter would have to be dealt with harshly. It would soon occur to somebody in Washington that not everybody could afford $237.52 lemonade, and that to deny it to them would be unconstitutional, so we would need a lemon-aid agency or two to force banks to give needy, thirsty people loans. And then many of those people would start defaulting on the loans, proving that lemonade must be earned and that people shouldn't have it until they're ready for it. And then. And then . . .

Here we are.

Posted in: Hoosier lore


tim zank
Thu, 12/11/2008 - 7:49pm

That's one of Mitch's finer attributes in my opinion, the abilility and willingness to call a spade a spade.