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Opening Arguments

No surprises

Can there even be anything like a blind date these days? By the time of the first meeting, we can find out just about everything there is to know about the other person:

In some ways, having a social networking page — or pages — has become the new calling card. It's a way for people to check out photos and find out what they have in common, even when they've already met in person.

That was the case for Brad White, a 23-year-old recent college grad in Chicago, who met his current girlfriend through friends at a bar — and immediately looked her up on Facebook. "The commonality of our music taste and friends is what prompted me to ask her out," White says, "obviously, besides the attraction."

The details people find also can provide a few talking points to get past the initial awkwardness of a first date — though not everyone likes to admit that they've done their research.

"It seems like in contemporary dating, it's this elaborate dance between two people who already know a lot of what their date is talking about, but they can't admit it," says David Silver, an assistant professor of media studies at the University of San Francisco who studies online culture.

"You nod your head with curiosity, but you already know what they're going to say."

Even he is amazed at the level of information that can be dug up these days.

With a little creativity and Internet savvy, a person can find anything from blog postings to news stories that might include personal details — and whether people are telling the truth about their age and where they've lived.

I have mixed feelings about all this. On the one hand, I like the surprise of discovery as the other person's personality, intellectual contours and emotional quirks begin to unfold. If we know too much about each other from the beginning, we might think we understand more than we do and not go exploring in interesting territory. On the other hand, if someone is going to be a crazed, creepy loon, it would be kind of nice to have a hint about it. As I'm sure many of my first dates have remarked.

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