Maybe we need full-time legislators here. While our part-time lawmakers are fooling around with silly things like a two-year budget, the wise men and women in the Illinois legislature are dealing with truly cosmic issues:
SPRINGFIELD - Like some sort of rulers of the universe, state lawmakers are considering restoring little Pluto's planetary status, casting aside the scientific community's 2006 decision downgrading the distant ice ball.
An Illinois Senate committee on Thursday unanimously supported planet Pluto and declaring March 13 "Pluto Day." The idea now moves to the full Senate for a vote.
The push for a state decree on Pluto comes from state Sen. Gary Dahl, a Republican whose downstate district includes Streator, birthplace of Pluto discoverer Clyde Tombaugh. Dahl told colleagues Pluto is important to the local community, which considers the vote to downgrade Pluto to "dwarf" planet was unfair as it involved only 4 percent of the International Astronomical Union's 10,000 scientists.
Still to come, resolutions declaring that the moon is made of green cheese, global warming is a dangerous threat to Mars, the Sun revolves around the Earth, and God is a left-handed vegetarian. And Pi is 3.2! Oh, wait. That one was ours.
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Earthlinks, I have rematerialized from within the emultiverse to once again bestow upon you, the inhabitants of Flatula, the wisdom of the oracle Bloggo: Pi's flavor is mellow yellow; the moon is indeed made of cheese, but of five distinctive gourmet varieties; and the dark side is inhabited by a behemothic spore named Floyd whose true purpose will be made known to you all on December 23, 2012. Beware the rodent disciples of Pluto! Bloggo has spoken.