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Opening Arguments

Seems like old times

I always read stories about really old people -- like this one about Indiana's oldest citizen turning 113 -- to see if they've had any lifelong bad habits that I also have so I can feel better about myself and say to people, "See there, it's not so bad drinking a pot of coffee every day" or "eating coney dogs for breakfast" or etc., etc. This one didn't have anything like that except for a snide remark from her daughter-in-law that she's been a widow for the last 68 years, ha, ha, ha. But I did notice this line: "Parker is the fourth-oldest person in the United States and the ninth-oldest documented person in the world." My question is, if they didn't have that recorded, would that make her an undocumented senior citizen or an illegal centenarian?

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