Sigh. The self-esteem movement just keeps rolling on:
AP) -- Penny Grossman cringes each time a student mentions a birthday party during class at her Boston, Massachusetts-area preschool. The rule there, and at a growing number of America's schools, is that parties and play-dates shouldn't be discussed unless every child in the room is invited.
Gone are the days when a kindergartner dropped a handful of party invites in the classroom cubbyholes of their closest buddies. Today, if anyone is excluded the invitations can't be handed out at school.
The critics of such nonsense, who at least seem to be growing in number, correctly point out that protecting children from every hurt and slight will send them out into the real world woefully unprepared for the challenges they will face. Learning how to deal with adversity, including emotional setbacks, helps us grow and develop.
I remember many parties during my school year to which I was not invited. When sides were chosen up for games, I was chosen last, if at all. When cards were passed around on Valentine's Day, I often had the fewest in the room. I could have dwelled on these slights and obsessed over them until I became a dark and brooding person. But I used them as an opportunity to understand myself and my relationships with others, and it helped me become a thoughtful, centered person who is able to discern the logical course through the chaos around me. That's why I'm able to do this blog, helping you sort through complicated issues and think about them clearly, not that you've ever thanked me for it. Here I sit, day after day, typing my fingers to the bone for you, and what thanks do I get? Did you ever once think of WRITING or making a simple PHONE CALL? When I think of all the dates I've passsed up just to be here for all you rotten INGRATES . . .
...Sorry about that.
Comments
That is the danger of using oneself as an example of overcoming adversity, Leo :-)
20 years ago a friend was told (by a Kindergarten teacher at a central city FWCS elementary school) that it was NOT okay for her daughter to bring Valentines to school. The girl had written the names of her classmates on the cards, and each child got a card. The teacher was concerned that the children might suffer damage to their self-esteem when they saw that one of their classmates could actually write names. Thank goodness the teacher intervened before such damage was done, resulting in the cards being thrown away and my friend's daughter being taught that the most important thing in life is to focus on being just like the least common denominator. No child left behind, indeed.
The unfortunate by-product of all this protection of self esteem is a generation of people devoid of self respect.
How often do you see a graceful loser today....in anything...at all....ever..
Character and self respect are learned through many lessons in life, most being those times when you are on the losing side of something important to you.
If nobody ever wins, all that's left is losers.....
An important part of developing GENUINE AND USEFEUL self esteem comes from actually accomplishing something - not just being told how wonderful you are. I read a news account years ago (so my recollection may be incorrect) that there is an inverse relationship between how well kids did in math and how well they FELT they did in math. In other words, there are a bunch of kids out there who can't add to save their lives, but at least they feel good about themselves.
Well, since Tim said pretty much what I was thinking (and going to post myself), all I have left as a retort is hearty...DITTO!
((Personally, I know I don't qualify for a MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE monicker, but at least I "feel" like I should...lol!))
;)
B.G.