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Opening Arguments

But they don't have a secret handshake

In their efforts to find something -- anything! -- to use against him, those opposing John Roberts' nomination to the Supreme Court have zeroed in on the fact that he belongs to the Federalist Society. No, he doesn't! Yes, he does! Stay tuned. And just what is this evil cabal of constitutional scoundrels? Well, its members want the "principles of limited government" to have a fair hearing and "believe and trust that individual citizens can make the best choices for themselves and society." Those monsters! Don't tell anybody where you heard it, but there's a rumor going around that Roberts is a Catholic. And he once actually matriculated.