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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.
Opening Arguments

A true emergency

I guess I've lived a more sheltered life than I had supposed, because here's a problem I really didn't realize we needed a state law to fix:

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. - A state lawmaker says he plans to sponsor a bill next session that would bar adult males from applying spray-on tans to female juveniles at tanning salons.

State Rep. Bruce Borders, R-Jasonville, said he was shocked by a recent case where an adult man who works at a tanning salon applied a spray-on tan on a nude 15-year-old girl.

Borders said he can't believe there's not a law prohibiting that type of activity.

"I think it's important not only for the customers but for the business that no one be put in any kind of compromising position," he said.

You have to feel sorry for all those bewildered adult men out there just praying for a state law that will keep them from any kind of compromising position with nude 15-year-old girls. Why wait till next session? We're going to have a special session this year with nothing on the agenda but the silly old state budget. Will the law also apply to adult females and nude 15-year-old boys, or are they on their own in the moral wilderness? Or don't 15-year-old boys get spray-on tans?


tim zank
Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:03am

Do you mean to tell me a prosecutor can't find an existing law on the books that would apply to this? There has to 50 statutes on the books that would fit a case just for the adult being in the same room with a naked 15 year old child of EITHER sex.

That's farkin' ridiculous.

And we actually elect and pay these morons, both the legislators AND the prosecutors. What a country.

tim zank
Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:08am

The more I think about it, the more it becomes obvious, the police either weren't called or are completely brain dead, the prosecuting attorney was never called or is really really braindead, and the politician (whom I already assume by default of the elected position he holds, is braindead) is up for election.

Sound about right?

Bob G.
Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:45am

"And we actually elect and pay these morons, both the legislators AND the prosecutors."

Well, I don't think that REALLY applies to the *US* "we".
That applies to those "THEM" we.
(my English teacher is rolling in his grave over that grammar)

But you get the idea, right guys?