Franklin College junior Kailee Fouch is a good little green, just like she was programmed to be in school. So when she took time off from her Brown County Democrat internship duties, she and a friend went only reluctantly to "the corruption known as Wal-Mart," feeling a little guilty because of how much that sinful enterprise contributes to Indiana's awful carbon footprint (49th-worst in the nation! better than only West Virginia!). Naturally, she was simply outraged for Mother Earth, when, on the way into the store, she spied a police car unattended and running! And when she came back out in 45 minutes (guess she doesn't hate Wal-Mart that much), it was still running. Well, that was just more than she could take:
I handed my bag off to my roommate, who knew what I was about to do. Despite her protests, I headed back to ask the officer to turn off his car.
I politely asked, and he politely informed me why it was still running. I threw in some facts about the damage done to the environment due to idling cars, and he obliged to turn off the ignition.
I forgot to mention that sometimes I exaggerate so when I said I almost went to jail, well, that was an exaggeration. Though, I really thought it was a possibility at the time.
I'm not afraid to do it again, even though I haven't.
You've heard of citizen's arrest -- call this a citizen's harangue. How come I never get lectured by pretty college juniors about my carbon footprint? Aren't I careless enough with the environment? Don't I make enough fun of mindless environmentalism? I can't even send her to jail -- my only power is to write mean things about her and, heck, I've already done that.