Victoria's a slut; oops, secret's out

With all the dreary news out there, I feel compelled to keep you abreast of the humorous, so I try to find titillating tidbits like this one that you mind find uplifting:

Authorities are investigating after more than 300 bras were reported stolen Monday from display drawers at Victoria's Secret in Eastland Mall, according to an Evansville Police Department report.

In all, 320 bras - worth $14,400 or $45 apiece - turned up missing.

Hard to say who'd do such a thing, but if it's just a couple of boobs, they'll get busted pretty soon. I could go on, but it would be udderly pointless. Think I've milked this one enough.