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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.
Opening Arguments

. . . but you can't hide

Criminal genius of the week:

Brian Russell, 31, is charged with being a habitual offender operating after suspension and violating his bail conditions.


Police said they tried to pull Russell over in New Gloucester, but he did not stop until entering the neighboring city of Auburn.


Police said Russell told them he took off because he did not think a Cumberland County sheriff's deputy could arrest him if he crossed into Androscoggin County.

Police being unable to arrest you once you've crossed the county line is just one of the many useful things you can learn from watching movies, some of them involving our dealings with the criminal justice system. Did you know, for example, that during all police investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once? And police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned partners who are their total opposite. And, most important of all: Anytime the police are after you, forget that county-line stuff. You can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade -- any time of year.

We have our share of criminal geniuses in Fort Wayne. One of them has just taken advantage of the well-known fact that if you cause a crash, leave your car at the scene and flee on foot, the police will never, ever figure out who you are -- it will be as if the whole thing never happened.


Bob G.
Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:23am

...And by ALL mean, NEVER leave the registration or ANY OTHER ID in the glove box (where police can find it), and never, EVER return to your home if you do forget to remove those items...!