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Opening Arguments

You won't see this on YouTube

I don't have much to say about this. It's just the kind of story you shouldn't let go unnoticed, that's all:

VALPARAISO -- A retired Chicago police officer was arrested at Lake of the Woods Nudist Colony after allegedly pushing a 66-year-old pool attendant to the ground.

The pool attendant and witnesses told Porter County Sheriff's Police that James Schodtler attacked the woman on Sunday, pushing her in the chest using both hands. She fell backward and hit her buttocks, back and head on the pavement.

Schodtler, 61, of Chicago, told police he put towels on several chairs to reserve them for the day, then left the pool area. When he returned around 9 a.m., he found the pool attendant had moved the towels. He pointed at her and told her not to touch his property, the police report states. The woman then poked him in the chest and said she wasn't afraid of him, Schodtler told police, so he defended himself by pushing her.

aired his 61-year-old nakednessWent naked, pushed a woman, tried to hog the chairs. A perfect hat trick!