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Opening Arguments

Chicken joke

Here's an urban problem I'll bet you didn't imagine you'd be reading about today. The hobby of "backyard chicken farming" is growing much in Indianapolis that the rounding up of "roving, aggressive chickens" by the Animal Care and Control  folks is sharply up. What to do with the captured critters?

Adam Garrett, an ACC spokesman, said the chances the owner would claim them were 50-50. It would make no financial sense to pay a $10 "impound" fee per bird on top of the daily fee of $3 per bird because brand-new chickens can be had for $2.50.

And sentimentally, chickens are several rungs below dogs and cats. Even backyard chicken keepers generally don't name their birds.

So what is to be done with unwanted chickens? The easiest thing would be to simply fry them up and eat them. But no. "I don't think it's a crime to take an animal from Animal Care and eat it," said Cindy Goss, animal lover, "but it would be immoral."

Now, frying up a chicken from the animal shelter might be a little creepy if we start thinking about the other animals being held there and we let our imaginations roam, but "immoral" seems a bit extreme. The fact that a clucker escaped from someone's back yard and had to be rounded up does not change a thing about its tastiness or singular stupidity. That Cindy Goss who is quoted operates a farm outside Plainfield to which she has taken nearly two dozen "rescued" chickens. She has placed a dozen of those in homes. On Sundays, I wonder?

So now we know why the chicken crossed the road. To escape the chicken catcher!