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Opening Arguments

Drink up

Hey, ready for a new "well, duh" report on research that proves the obvious?

A new study finds that people who live close to a bar tend to drink more.

A group of Finnish researchers collected data from nearly 55,000 participants from 2000 to 2009. The study found that heavy and extreme drinking occurred when people lived about a half-mile away from the bar.

The Boston Globe reports that the chances a person will drink too much jumped to 17 percent living near a bar.

In case that's not enough to impress you, these guys painstakingly went even further: "Conversely, the farther away a participant was from the bar, the less likely they would be heavy drinkers." Say, did you know that bears who live close to the woods tend to . . . oh, never mind.