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Opening Arguments

Bobby Jindal, American

The Washington Post takes that uppity Bobby Jindal down a notch or two:

As a child, he announced he wanted to go by the name Bobby, after a character in “The Brady Bunch.” He converted from Hinduism to Christianity as a teen and was later baptized a Catholic as a student at Brown University — making his devotion to Christianity a centerpiece of his public life. He and his wife were quick to say in a “60 Minutes” interview in 2009 that they do not observe many Indian traditions — although they had two wedding ceremonies, one Hindu and one Catholic. He said recently that he wants to be known simply as an American, not an Indian American.

“There’s not much Indian left in Bobby Jindal,” said Pearson Cross, a political science professor at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette who is writing a book on the governor.

Yeah, man. Not much Indian left in that dude. So he's not authentic, you see. You know, like Elizabeth Warren is an authentic Native American and Rachel Dolezal is an authentic black woman and Hillary Clinton has all those authentic accents she trots out for various audiences.

Jindal has assimilated into the larger culture, and that used to be a good thing in this melting pot we call America.  Now, we'r not even supposed to use that phrase:

Fifty years after the birth of the free speech movement at the University of California, Berkeley, officials across the UC system are encouraging faculty and students to purge mundane, potentially offensive words and phrases from their vocabularies.

Administrators want members of campus to avoid the use of racist and sexist statements, though their notions about what kinds of statements qualify are completely bonkers. “America is a melting pot,” “Why are you so quiet?” and “I believe the most qualified person should get the job,” are all phrases that should raise red flags, according to the UC speech police.

FWIW, if we're going to have an Indian American in the presidential race, I'd personally rather see Nikki Haley. Alas, she's assimilated even more that Jindal has, so thePost will doubtless be waiting, knives in hand.