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Opening Arguments

Bad boys

The votes have been tabulated, so now we can give out our coveted Crime Watch Awards.

Criminal genius of the week:

On July 29, according to a probable-cause affidavit filed in Allen Superior Court, Anthony Dwight Laster and another person followed several victims into their apartments and forced them to lie on the ground at gunpoint while one of the men ransacked the dwelling.

The robbers took cash, GPS units, laptops, cameras, videogame systems and several cell phones.

When one of the victim's friends tried to contact him via Twitter, a photo of a male with the name “Anthony” attached to it appeared as the user of the phone. The photo was enlarged by a Fort Wayne Police Department officer, who used it to identify Laster.

Best Joe Friday imitation:

Indianapolis Metro Police Officer Daniel Green was on foot patrol in the 1600 block of Broadway at 11:45 p.m. Tuesday when he saw a 21-year-old man sitting on a green electrical box chatting on a cell phone.

Green wrote in a report that the Demetrius Russ, Indianapolis, had his pants pulled down below the knees with his boxer shorts exposed.

"I informed him that he was sitting on private property with his pants pulled down on top of an electrical box," Green wrote. "I asked Mr. Russ why his pants were down to his knees and he informed me he was just 'swagging'."

"I informed him that swagging did not involve exposing your genitals through your boxers because your pants were pulled all the way down," Green wrote in the report.

Most succinct statement of the obvious:



An Indianapolis police officer accused of driving drunk and causing a fatal crash should not have been speeding or running his sirens at the time, according to department policy.

Most brazen defense argument, from the same case:

A suspended Indianapolis police officer's attorney this week will ask a judge to discredit a blood test that is key to prosecutors' contention that he was driving drunk when he killed a motorcyclist.

[. . .]

Kautzman's motion argues that with no other reason to believe Bisard was drunk, reliance on the blood test to suspend his license is unconstitutional.


Bob G.
Thu, 08/19/2010 - 9:57am

In a word, Leo...

You should make this a "regular" feature...LOL!