I had cereal for breakfast this morning. Yesterday, I had eggs and bacon. Before that, I had sausage gravy and biscuits, and before that, pancakes swimming in Log Cabin syrup. (And some of you suspected I wasn't capable of having an adventurous vacation!) Alas, only today's breakfast would win approval in San Francisco:
A SCOTS health expert has warned that a US city's ban on Happy Meals is the shape of things to come.
From next month, restaurants in San Francisco cannot give away free toys with unhealthy meals.
It means McDonald's Happy Meals will no longer be able to be sold in their present form in the Californian city.
Glasgow University professor of metabolic medicine Naveed Sattar said the food industry will face further legal challenges if they do not improve the nutritional content of their products.
He said: "Excess calories is the biggest cause of obesity, rather than less exercise.
"You can educate people as much as you want but if there's tasty, accessible food that looks good, people will be seduced by it.
No toy in my Happy Meal! How much less complicated and stressful our lives will be as our Food Overlords keep us away from more and more temptations we are too eager to be seduced by. I can see a glitch or two, though. It will occur to some enterprising entrepreneur that providing toys for Happy Meals might be profitable. There will be laws to prevent them from peddling them in front of McD's -- sort of like the "no guns or sex perverts near schools" laws. Eventually, there will be arrests for trafficking in caloric paraphernalia, and Tommy Chong will weep in sympathy. As more tasty but deadliy cuisine is banned, there will be a vast underground economy devoted to supplying the needs of the gastrnomically depraved. There will be trans-fat cartels overseen by junk-food pushers, and the FDA will beomce a paramilitary outfit whose members will carry guns. Fun times!