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All about me

Bald, baby, bald

Ain't no right way

Those rotten kids and all that texting, I tell you. With the way they abbreviate and make up acronyms and leave grammar behind, they are just ruinin' the English language, ruinin' it, I tell you.

But hold on there, not so fast:

Retrenching blues

Goodbye, Page 1

Is this print's last gasp? Both the New York times and the Los Angeles Times have announced that meetings to pitch stories for Page 1 are a thing of the past:

The real robot takeover

Following are the opening sentences of two sports stories. Can you tell which one was written by a human being and which was generated by a computer algorithm?

Size matters

Juxtaposition of the day. First up, from Slate:

Outta my spot!

Boy, the mayor of Boston is a real wet blanket. First, he tells people to stop jumping out of second-story windows for fun, even if the snow is high enough to cushion their fall, and now he's cracking down on parking:

BOSTON - The mayor of Boston says residents who worked tirelessly to carve out parking spots during the city's multiple blizzards can no longer claim stake on those spots.

They call me Mister Morris

Not here, of course. We're all just good buddies, right? But elsewhere in our life, we could do with a little more formality:

Got you covered, kitty

Yikes!

Americans are spending more than ever on their pets. The tally for 2014 is an estimated $58.5 billion, according to the American Pet Products Association. After food, the biggest amount—$15.2 billion—went to veterinary care. With MRIs, sonograms, and chemotherapy all on the treatment menu, the health costs for many pets can top what well-insured humans pay for their own health care.

No beef here

Huh:

In the U.S., the country that made the hamburger a global icon of American fast-food cuisine, beef is about to fall another spot on the meat scale.

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