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Opening Arguments

Hulk of burnin' love

I'm getting so tired of Bush and Obama and McCain and gas prices and Iran and flooding and taxes and all that silly stuff. Thank God I stumbled across a cable news outlet last night and learned about something really important: the Hulk Hogan crisis:

Hogan, whose real name is Terry Bollea, is expected to discuss his son's case and what CNN is calling "shocking jailhouse tapes," a reference to 26 hours of recorded conversations between Nick Bollea and his family.  The tapes were recently released by the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

I learned that Hulk Hogan (a stupid name, I guess, but The Rock is already taken) is a beloved American pop-culutre icon who could probably have ended up being elected governor of his state but whose image is being tarnished because his son is a jerk who got drunk and crashed his car, severely injuring his friend. Hogan and his wife (esecially her!) are guilty of  talking supportively to their son while he's been in jail (it was caught on tape!)  instead of going on "60 minutes" and confessing to what a scumbag he is.

I'm so glad I no longer have to rely on those boring old newspapers to find out what's really important.