If you've had your heart set on a naked picnic in Morgan County this summer, sorry about that:
A proposed clothing optional campground in Morgan County was denied zoning approval Monday night to begin operation.
[. . .]
The Board of Zoning Appeals unanimously denied the request, citing traffic concerns, road problems and a perceived adverse effect on property values, drawing a standing ovation from about 100 residents at the meeting.
[. . .]
"People walk with their families. Children ride their bikes. People ride their horses along these roads," said resident Daniel Elliot. "You combine that with people who are drinking alcohol, and all the sudden we have a disaster in the making."
Other residents worried that the peace and quiet they enjoy would be destroyed.
"I don't want to be able to smell my neighbor. I don't want to hear them for an extended period of time, and I don't want to see them, unless they're dressed for public," said Darrell Dill, Green Township trustee.
Whew. A "bikes and horses and alcohol and naked people" disaster. Conjures up quite a picture, doesn't it? Now that I think about it, I tend to agree with that last comment. Never mind the "dressed for public" part; as long as I can't smell them or hear them for an extended period of time, I'll be a happy neighbor.
I linked to this story mostly because the headline contained a phrase I hadn't heard in ages and wasn't sorry to see disappear: "Alternative Lifestyle Campground Voted Down," it said. Alternative lifestyle? Alternative to what?
Oh, hey. Want to know a secret? Sure you can handle it? OK, here goes. I'm sitting here at my computer terminal and (here it comes), while I'm typing, I am completely naked beneath my clothes. Don't you feel dirty now?