Kneasles

I have been hoping I would get Restless Leg Syndrome, the new disorder that requires a drug that has the best potential side effects in the world:

“Some patients taking ropinirole have shown urges to behave in a way unusual for them. Examples of this are an unusual urge to gamble or increased sexual urges and/or behaviors.”

Alas. I sit and sit, and my legs just lie there with nary a twitch. I will have to settle for Kneasles, a malady I have recently discovered. Those are little red dots around the knees that look like measles, resulting from cats jumping off my lap to get to the back of the couch. Sometimes they take off from my thighs or chest, in which case I get Theasles or Cheasles, but usually it's Kneasles. I'm working on a new drug to cure it, the possible side effect of which is to hang around on the couch, thinking about gambling and sexual urges.

Oh. And one thing we try to avoid -- the one thing we absolutely cannot contemplate -- is Peasles. No drug in the world for that.