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Opening Arguments

Night of the living teens

It's a rite of passage for teens to congregate with other teens and behave so obnoxiously that adults get annoyed. When I was growing up, we had to drive all over creation to have this pleasure, stopping at places like Halls and Gardners just long enough to let our car engines cool. These kids today, I swear, they have it so easy; all they have to do is go to the mall. But now the malls are striking back. Useful phrase to remember: "I've been thrown out of better places than this."