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Opening Arguments

Politics is gettin' hairy

Boy, I don't know about this; seems risky to me. Don't some of you secretly distrust those of us with facial hair, as in, "Hey, what've you got to hide?"

Indiana Democrats are hoping to bring an iconic mustache to the governor's office next year.

Democrat John Gregg has made his handlebar mustache a centerpiece of his run for governor, using it in his stump speech and telling allegories of how he was urged to shave it off, but instead stuck to his Yosemite Sam guns.

His campaign has taken to stamping most of its material with a large, blue mustache. Aides give out mustache pins to supporters, and the mustache takes up the bottom third of the official campaign logo. The mustache even pops up on his campaign website's favicon — that's the little marker just to the left of the browser bar at the top of the page.

[. . .]

Campaign branding is nothing new. The gold standard is the Obama campaign, Johnson says. The open “O” and the rolling fields created by the stripes reinforced a message of “hope,” he said. The Obama team looks to be sticking with the “O” for 2012.

Branding, for God's sake. I can't think of anything I'd like to do better to most politicians than brand them.

My attitude is that Gregg should stop being such a wimp -- be a man and grow a real beard, like Rupert  Boneham from "Survivor," who is seeking the Libertarian nomonation and has a full-fledged mountain-man beard. And the whole point of facial hair (or at least a major point) is that it cuts down on the time needed for daily facial maintenance. Having an elaborate, always-needs-to-be-groomed moustace or beard sort of defeats the purpose. I'm not sure what that means about his politics, but I'm sure we can make it sound sinister if we try.

Today's pop quiz: Who was the last major-party presidential candidate with facial hair? Answer: Thomas E. Dewey, representing the liberal wing of the Republican Party (yes, that's always been around), who ran in 1944 and 1948. And lost both times, Mr. Gregg.

Comments

Harl Delos
Mon, 11/21/2011 - 3:00pm

I suppose it reflects poorly on the womenfolk of this country that his mustache made Dewey appear dandified, weak and effeminate. You know, sorta like a bankster. And shaggy hair, whether in a mustache, beard, or on the scalp, made one seem to be lazy, irresponsible, and antisocial.

The Obama "O" is nice branding, but it's hard to beat Jack Kennedy, who turned the naked pate into his personal brand of vitality. Do you suppose the Soviets, faced with the blockade of Cuba, considered it in their gamesmanship? "This is a man who goes out in the winter without a hat, for heaven's sake! He's not going to blink!"

And, of course, Jack is dead now, but Vladimir Putin is always posing for cameras with his shirt off. He may look silly to us, but I wonder how he looks to his fellow countrymen.

littlejohn
Tue, 11/22/2011 - 3:18pm

Although they never had a chance, both Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have run for the Democratic nomination in recent years, and both are mustachioed. And let's not forget Herman Cain, although his stach is so neatly trimmed it's almost invisible. And, again, no real chance of winning.

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